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An
Open Letter: From Michael Holmes
Finally, Michael Holmes
has returned - to poetry.
Michael Holmes has been to the mountain,
has sought the guidance and strength of the Holmesters, has said
his prayers and eaten his vitamins.
And in this, his darkest hour, Michael Holmes
must thank the millions, and millions of Michael Holmes' fans for
the cards and letters which nourish the strength of Michael Holmes'
convictions, which stoke the furnace, brother, of Holmes-mania.
Michael Holmes has heard his peeps (props
and mad love to you all, styling and profiling from coast to coast,
from the mean streets of Brampton to the palaces of Bramalea, from
the smallest Holmes-maniac to Cena and Poffo and the living
legends of poetry who've rumbled before the Holmester) and
brother, Michael Holmes says this:
Michael Holmes thought everyone knew - "Carmine
Starnino" and "David Solway" are the same person.
And Michael Holmes suspects there are other incarnations, other
gimmicks, too. Michael Holmes suspects the multiple personas are
a coy, thinly veiled attempt to maximize granting potential, to
"swerve" both readers and arts councils alike.
Michael Holmes has read both "Canadian
Poetry as a Busted Flush or, I'll See Your Anne Szumigalski and
Raise You a David Donnell" by "Starnino" in CNQ 55
and "Standard
Average Canadian, or the Influence of Al Purdy" by "Solway"
in CNQ 59.
Michael Holmes can't see a difference. (Brother,
can you see a difference?)
Michael Holmes has never seen "Carmine"
and "David" in the same room-because they occupy a single
critical space.
And finally, brother, if Michael Holmes may
be serious for a moment:
Michael Holmes sent all the little Holmes-maniacs
to Matrix
instead of Book In Canada because Matrix exists and is
good while BIC is almost wholly imaginary and dedicated to slippery
slopes.
Therefore, Michael Holmes felt it would be
good for you - and good for poetry - to read Bök's rebuttal
before attempting to grapple with "Starnino/Solway" tag
team chair-shots.
Remember, Michael Holmes is here to protect
you, from assclowns everywhere, whenever he can.
Sincerely, and Peace out, and Word Life,
Michael Holmes
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